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Showing posts from January, 2011

Infertility: A Shared-Suffering

My wife just miscarriage, now what? Your spouse and you just suffered the news that you just lost your child in a miscarriage. It doesn’t matter what time frame. Days ago, hours,…a couple of weeks. The timeline still seems very insignificant because it just happened to your wife and you. You have hundreds of questions: Do I tell people? What is the proper response? Is this between my wife and I only? Miscarriages are a   terribly difficult seasons for a marriage. The feelings of joy and anticipation of new life now feel robbed. The feelings of inadequacy, the grief of death, the uncertainty of fertility, the unknown of social engagement.   The awkward moment at church on Mother’s Day, when your wife can barely hold back the tears. (Been there done that) Here’s some simple direct counseling for husbands in that first 1-3 month window after the tragedy. FOR THE HUSBAND ONLY: Priority #1: Assure your wife, that her value to you is not based in her functionality. She is valuable to

My Top 3 Chapters in Scripture.

Top Three's of the Bible. If you were to ask me what 3 chapters of the Bible have been the most impacting in my spiritual walk. I would tell you John 3, Romans 3, and Colossians 3. This Sunday I am actually starting a small series before I launch back into a continuation of the verse by verse study of II Corinthians. Each week, I will do my best to show why I love these fine chapters.   But because many of you will not be able to attend, here is a good summary of what I am thinking and where I will be heading on this. John 3 Most people have a bizarre understanding of salvation. They can't figure it out. What does it mean to be saved? What does it mean to be reborn? What does it mean that the Spirit goes back and forth? This passage helped me to understand Jesus' compassion. His sit down 'waffle house' style conversation with a scholar. His rich wisdom and mystery, which surrounds the simplicity of the Gospel found in John 3:16. A child can memorize

My Kids Don't Like to go to Church! Help!

Q: "My Kids don’t like to go to church. Can you help?" Single Mom, Winder GA If you are a parent, and you attend church on Sundays regularly, then this little counseling session will do you good. If it hasn’t already happened, the day will come when that precious child of yours will decided to look you in the eyes on a rushed Sunday morning and tell you that they ‘Don’t like church!’ , or ‘Think its boring.’ Etc. What do you do? Well, if you sat down in my office chair and asked the question, this is what I would say : First , realize that its Sunday morning, a day where every Christian household in America is going through the same dilemma.  We are all fighting sin. The problem is that God has commanded us to worship Him, and children have a unique way of stating the obvious voices of our hearts. We would say the same thing as a justification to crawl back into the bed. We would argue with authority, but because we have a touch more sanctification in our l

Immediate Counseling.

Today marked a unique day in my life. I have officially been an Active Duty Army Chaplain for 36 months. Of those 36 months, I also rolled over 20 months deployed. The military Chaplaincy offers a very different approach to ministry. Not only do you shepherd a very small flock most of the time, but you are also a counselor to staff and soldiers within your unit. Counseling sometimes is a formal 'appointment', while more often it tends to be a sitting down in a 'smoke shack' or close seat at chow time, or even a late night knock on the door of my CHU. Therefore to say that I am a formally trained counselor is not really an accurate statement. I like to tell people to think of me as a 'first aid' center on the way to the surgeon, in the realm of counselors. But not to make my job too insignifigant, I have seen many unscheduled "Band Aids" do a great deal of healing. With this in mind, I am wanting to take some of the more common counseling appointments