Whiteboards and Pulpits

    The Introduction:             Theological precision has its rightful place, and with equal footing, the serving of these truths must be compassionately timed, especially within intimate relationships. Eclipsed by my own pride and ignorance, I stumbled in this area many times early during my marriage. Desperately wanting to convey Godly leadership within my family, I found myself weighing every conversation to guard against baneful theological regurgitation and the impact it might have without thoughtful consideration. Oftentimes I would be paralyzed by own frustrations and excuses. On one hand never fully trusting the Lord to give wisdom on certain situations and on the other hand never truly knowing how or when to present what I believed to be the woman I loved.   This became fully realized on an autumn morning during our first year of marriage. A chilling wind rushed into our lives in August, which left me staggering for the...

My wife just miscarriage, now what? Your spouse and you just suffered the news that you just lost your child in a miscarriage. It doesn’t matter what time frame. Days ago, hours,…a couple of weeks. The timeline still seems very insignificant because it just happened to your wife and you. You have hundreds of questions: Do I tell people? What is the proper response? Is this between my wife and I only? Miscarriages are a   terribly difficult seasons for a marriage. The feelings of joy and anticipation of new life now feel robbed. The feelings of inadequacy, the grief of death, the uncertainty of fertility, the unknown of social engagement.   The awkward moment at church on Mother’s Day, when your wife can barely hold back the tears. (Been there done that) Here’s some simple direct counseling for husbands in that first 1-3 month window after the tragedy. FOR THE HUSBAND ONLY: Priority #1: Assure your wife, that her value to you is not based in her functionality. She is val...