Whiteboards and Pulpits

My wife just miscarriage, now what? Your spouse and you just suffered the news that you just lost your child in a miscarriage. It doesn’t matter what time frame. Days ago, hours,…a couple of weeks. The timeline still seems very insignificant because it just happened to your wife and you. You have hundreds of questions: Do I tell people? What is the proper response? Is this between my wife and I only? Miscarriages are a   terribly difficult seasons for a marriage. The feelings of joy and anticipation of new life now feel robbed. The feelings of inadequacy, the grief of death, the uncertainty of fertility, the unknown of social engagement.   The awkward moment at church on Mother’s Day, when your wife can barely hold back the tears. (Been there done that) Here’s some simple direct counseling for husbands in that first 1-3 month window after the tragedy. FOR THE HUSBAND ONLY: Priority #1: Assure your wife, that her value to you is not based in her functionality. She is val...

Top Three's of the Bible. If you were to ask me what 3 chapters of the Bible have been the most impacting in my spiritual walk. I would tell you John 3, Romans 3, and Colossians 3. This Sunday I am actually starting a small series before I launch back into a continuation of the verse by verse study of II Corinthians. Each week, I will do my best to show why I love these fine chapters.   But because many of you will not be able to attend, here is a good summary of what I am thinking and where I will be heading on this. John 3 Most people have a bizarre understanding of salvation. They can't figure it out. What does it mean to be saved? What does it mean to be reborn? What does it mean that the Spirit goes back and forth? This passage helped me to understand Jesus' compassion. His sit down 'waffle house' style conversation with a scholar. His rich wisdom and mystery, which surrounds the simplicity of the Gospel found in John 3:16. A child can memorize ...

Q: "My Kids don’t like to go to church. Can you help?" Single Mom, Winder GA If you are a parent, and you attend church on Sundays regularly, then this little counseling session will do you good. If it hasn’t already happened, the day will come when that precious child of yours will decided to look you in the eyes on a rushed Sunday morning and tell you that they ‘Don’t like church!’ , or ‘Think its boring.’ Etc. What do you do? Well, if you sat down in my office chair and asked the question, this is what I would say : First , realize that its Sunday morning, a day where every Christian household in America is going through the same dilemma.  We are all fighting sin. The problem is that God has commanded us to worship Him, and children have a unique way of stating the obvious voices of our hearts. We would say the same thing as a justification to crawl back into the bed. We would argue with authority, but because we have a touch more sanctification in our l...

Today marked a unique day in my life. I have officially been an Active Duty Army Chaplain for 36 months. Of those 36 months, I also rolled over 20 months deployed. The military Chaplaincy offers a very different approach to ministry. Not only do you shepherd a very small flock most of the time, but you are also a counselor to staff and soldiers within your unit. Counseling sometimes is a formal 'appointment', while more often it tends to be a sitting down in a 'smoke shack' or close seat at chow time, or even a late night knock on the door of my CHU. Therefore to say that I am a formally trained counselor is not really an accurate statement. I like to tell people to think of me as a 'first aid' center on the way to the surgeon, in the realm of counselors. But not to make my job too insignifigant, I have seen many unscheduled "Band Aids" do a great deal of healing. With this in mind, I am wanting to take some of the more common counseling appointments...

The next time you are at your church take a good look around. Do a census in your head? What is the largest population in your church? Is it older people, middle age, or young? What would you say is the poorest family in your church? Who is the richest? What occupations do most people have? What common interest/hobbies are throughout the congregation? Does the spiritual maturity of the congregation move through all the levels or is focused primarily on one focus group, i.e. the 'old guy'? Do you have any ethnic groups in your church? Are there outsiders or rebellious looking people (tattoos, motorcycle, stereotypes) Has anyone in your church recovered from homosexuality, adultery or porn? I asked this for a simple reason. If God has planted a church in a particular region of the country, shouldn't the church be a cross-section of the majority of the people in the culture? Shouldn't you see the same people variety at your church as you would on a common trip to Wal-M...

After living out of a suitcase for the last 7 weeks, its official. I feel like I am home here in Texas, at least for right now. Now, for the recap. On or about the 23rd of June, Jessica and I were contacted by the Chaplain Corp about a new assignment that I was getting here in Fort Hood Texas. I was quite surprised to find out that the Army's understanding of stability was moving from my overseas home in Germany to Fort Hood, and then deploying in about 30 days after getting settled in. Jessica and I held our breath and looked at the big picture. The big picture is: Chaplain's typically deploy only twice as a Captain, then we go school and wait until we get our Major before launching out again. Therefore, I will get the 2nd deployment completed and then prayerfully come home to enjoy about 2.5-3 years of non-deploying years. After the news, we basically started saying our goodbyes and launched from Germany to Texas. Rented a house. Picked up our new dog, Major. Gave up the...

Its true. It looks like I am heading to Iraq for part II. I found this video on YOUTUBE that is funny, and is the actual place that I am going downrange. For those of us who have actually seen Iraq, this is pretty stink'n accurate of those FOB's that you long to go to, but never got the chance. Well, this time CH Craven is heading to COB Speicher! (well, atleast I think I am. ALWAYS SUBJECT TO CHANGE.)