Skip to main content

Good Listeners Alone, Are Not Good Counselors.

We have been told many times over that "Good Listeners are good counselors." This is somewhat true. Let me explain. I think it is vitally important for people to have good listening skills. If you are wanting to solve any type of conflict in a marriage or any numerous types of situations,...you have got to listen. Shut your stink'n trap and listen. Several times in the Bible we are see examples of God telling people to listen.
Job is probably a classical example, Job 40.

Either way, a good listener is valuable. But it is not the only thing you need.

A counselor is just that, it is a person who through a gift of God has wisdom to impart, primarily through Scripture. They listen intently. Engage in the issue. Prayerfully consider, and then...RESPOND. This doesn't mean that the counselor then rants or points out all flaws and shows no mercy to the counslee, but let's not kid ourselves in believing that a 'good venting session' is all we want. If that is the case, Major (my lovely white lab) is a certified counselor.

We all need more than just a wall to bounce our complaints. If our own counsel is what desire, I think we can see the folly of this logic. This leads to two major decisions:

1. When you go to see counsel or advice: Share your heart. Expose your fears and limitations. Tell the truth of the facts that have lead you to this point. Understand that you are limited in scope. Then shut your trap.

2. As the one someone comes to for advice: Listen intently. Engage appropriately, but do not be the lazy counselor who only 'bounces' their feelings back. MAN UP! and say something that has Scriptural integrity. Give the wisdom that they seek. Understand that you are not infallible and humble yourself to help.

Bottomline: Seek advice from those you know who are kind enough to truly care, but tough enough to speak truth to you.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Your Sermon Tanked. Now what?

You finished, and you know it. Your sermon sucked. Whether you bored them to tears, talked way too long about a point that was not important, or you failed to prepare. Whatever the reason, what do you do now?
Repent. I am serious. Recognize you were called to lead sheep, not confuse them. If you made a couple of poor decisions that ended with this result, then take the time first to ask God to forgive you. Then resolve in your heart to address issue and safeguard from it happening again.
Resist self-deprecating. “So, I know that wasn’t my best,…but what did you think?”; “Had a rough time preparing this one.” This a polite way of keeping people from truthfully critiquing your sermon. You will get a pat on the back, but keep using these excuses and your sheep will lose trust in you. However, you can find a reliable straight-shooting friend, who can give you honest feedback. They can also keep you accountable against ‘dud’ Sundays.
Revisit your call. Be encouraged, if you have preached an…

How to be Creative and Precise, while Preaching: Step One

Step One: Know Your Weirdo Congregation.
Speech Class 101: You must know your audience. Jesus talks about how his sheep know his voice, and how he knows them. John 10:27. I like this 1990's move quote,.. “Find out what the people you are playing against are interested in, and pretend you're interested in it, too. They start running off at the mouth and don't pay no attention to their cards. Medivac crew love to talk about their choppers.” ~Monfriez, Courage Under Fire (1996).If you truly want to connect the actually studying and laboring of your textual criticism/exposition to the congregation, you better stink’n know them. I am talking about really knowing them. You know their name. Quit using, “Buddy”. You know their children’s name. You know what makes them tick. You know what they laugh, (Not the weekly jab at the opposing football team), you know what ticks them off (see previous parenthetical). You know what is currently going on in the world around them. So much so, t…

Be Patient. Sermon.

23 JUL 17
Be Patient and Establish Your Hearts, on the Lord’s Return
James 5:7-13
7 Be patient, therefore, brothers, until the coming of the Lord. See how the farmer waits for the precious fruit of the earth, being patient about it, until it receives the early and the late rains. 8 You also, be patient. Establish your hearts, for the coming of the Lord is at hand. 9 Do not grumble against one another, brothers, so that you may not be judged; behold, the Judge is standing at the door. 10 As an example of suffering and patience, brothers, take the prophets who spoke in the name of the Lord. 11 Behold, we consider those blessed who remained steadfast. You have heard of the steadfastness of Job, and you have seen the purpose of the Lord, how the Lord is compassionate and merciful.
12 But above all, my brothers, do not swear, either by heaven or by earth or by any other oath, but let your “yes” be yes and your “no” be no, so that you may not fall under condemnation.
Introduction
A wrong doing ha…