Skip to main content

Small Groups: Resist Shallow Relationships.

Have you ever been the new guy or gal to a small group Bible Study? You walk in and before long you begin to see relationships and friendships that obviously look much deeper than what you have with them. These feelings may be somewhat reasonable, but I would be willing to argue today that most relationships that we perceive at this level are not as deep as we think, so therefore we should not be put off by these perceptions but do our best to find a common meeting ground and dive in.
1.) I would argue that most relationships in a small group setting are typically pretty shallow, especially in this culture that we live in. We love to have 1000’s of friends on Facebook and really no friends of significance.  As one of my good friends just said, we have a lot of breadth but little depth. I would agree.  
2.) I would also suggest that most relationships are self-seeking endeavors as well. I think the reason we want this breadth without depth is the exposure that we do not have it all together like we think. We do not want people to really know our hearts and desires. We effectively want to seek to scratch our ‘popularity’ itch, and move on…and never truly convey our hearts.
Small groups are effective, dissolve this level of superficiality as quickly as possible. They may place you early on in a level of discomfort due to the need to be vulnerable, but this vulnerability will lead to mutual trust and intimacy that will be much more beneficial than trivial weekly conversations about ‘lawn care’ or ‘diets’ or ‘latest news crisis’.
Relationships built in this environment will be much more beneficial and lasting. Do yourself a favor and resist the temptation to move around a room to meet everyone…build a conversation…and if the Lord permits…you may find yourself, “sharing each other’s load of burdens”.

Comments

  1. Chaplain Craven.

    My name is sebastian Cortez. I am currently a lead pastor at a church, but I am exploring the possibility of becoming a chaplain. Is there any way I could get your email address to ask you some questions? It would be greatly appreciated bro.

    Loved your blog. Thank you for taking the time to read this. My email address is sabo.c@covgrace.org

    Thanks.

    Sebastian Cortez

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Saying, "I am Sorry." Is Not Enough.

The blood pressure is finally normalizing. Your hands regain heat and your nose is no longer cold. The rush of adenaline has now causing you think a little more rational and you are gaining composure. Words have been said. Doors possibly have been slammed shut. Long rides to the gas station have ended with garage door being shut and both parties are finally breathing normally. THE FIGHT IS OVER.
No matter which side of the argument you are on. This is not the best moment for any marriage or friendship. But what is vital ....what is ABSOLUTELY CRITICAL...is not to respond in a minimizing of the situation. What does that look like you might ask?
Resist Statements like: 1. "Sweetheart, I am sorry. But..." 2. "Sweetheart, I am sorry."
3. "It has been a rough week, and I am sorry."
4. "You just made me angry,...I am sorry."
5. "Its ok baby. Let's just don't worry about it."

These statements sound very good on the surface, but can gloss o…

Your Sermon Tanked. Now what?

You finished, and you know it. Your sermon sucked. Whether you bored them to tears, talked way too long about a point that was not important, or you failed to prepare. Whatever the reason, what do you do now?
Repent. I am serious. Recognize you were called to lead sheep, not confuse them. If you made a couple of poor decisions that ended with this result, then take the time first to ask God to forgive you. Then resolve in your heart to address issue and safeguard from it happening again.
Resist self-deprecating. “So, I know that wasn’t my best,…but what did you think?”; “Had a rough time preparing this one.” This a polite way of keeping people from truthfully critiquing your sermon. You will get a pat on the back, but keep using these excuses and your sheep will lose trust in you. However, you can find a reliable straight-shooting friend, who can give you honest feedback. They can also keep you accountable against ‘dud’ Sundays.
Revisit your call. Be encouraged, if you have preached an…

Monday Musings: Being Affectionate During Church

Monday Musings are a simple break from the norms of this blog to address or arm-chair quarterback an issue.


Being Affectionate During Church


As a child I remember my dad sitting pretty close to my mom throughout the service. She would even lean in on him periodically during the sermon and share a Bible. They would even hold hands walking into the sanctuary. This wasn't every Sunday, but I do many remember many young couples would comment that they wanted to be like my parents when they got older as a couple.


So, I have found myself doing the 'yawning-technique' many times to draw Jessica a touch closer during the exposition of God's Word. I often get her hair caught in my arm, and I have to do delicate dance to make sure I don't turn a move of affection into a move torture. However, I grab her hand at times and she rubs my back when I lean forward in the pew to listen. I do not think I am being distracting or feel that I am over doing it either. I love my wife. I l…