The Introduction:
Theological precision has its rightful place, and with equal
footing, the serving of these truths must be compassionately timed, especially within
intimate relationships. Eclipsed by my own pride and ignorance, I stumbled in
this area many times early during my marriage. Desperately wanting to convey
Godly leadership within my family, I found myself weighing every conversation
to guard against baneful theological regurgitation and the impact it might have without thoughtful consideration. Oftentimes I would
be paralyzed by own frustrations and excuses. On one hand never fully trusting
the Lord to give wisdom on certain situations and on the other hand never truly
knowing how or when to present what I believed to be the woman I loved. This became fully realized on an autumn
morning during our first year of marriage.
A chilling wind rushed into our lives
in August, which left me staggering for theological balance. I received a call in my office to come to
where my wife was teaching preschool. Jessica had passed out while cleaning up the
floors after the children’s lunch. Lying on the floor, through tears, she began
to describe the incredible pain she was having. Helplessly I knelt beside her
held her hand and listened. Little did we know, our first child was already in
the hands of The Creator. Prior to that moment I thought I knew how to lead,
but the winding road ahead was quickly becoming foggy and more treacherous.
A few more difficult months and years
went by for us. Doctor visits. Hospital visits. Calendar marking. Testing.
Surgery. Build up excitement and expectations on the foundation of professional
direction and faithful prayers, would crumble every 28 days. There was no
longer a point of the denying the fact: Jessica and I were infertile. In spite
of all the evidence that showed we were capable of having children, the Lord
had closed our womb.
Now, how was I supposed to begin to
navigate the multitude of decisions and questions that we had. Are we to
embrace our infertility with joy in light of the commands in the Scripture to
procreate? Are we now disobedient to this charge? To encourage and comfort my
wife, should we pursue all courses of fertility treatment? Even when we may have
moral/ethical dilemmas with some treatments? How do I know when I should risk
emotional hurt for a greater good for us both? How can I compassionate love my
wife in this season and at the same time speak truth and direction when it
seems antithetical to our situation?
These questions were just the beginning to our journey in infertility.
Comments
Post a Comment