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Day 75, The Missing Link (Woman)

Ok, I am sitting down at a Sushi Bar in Crystal City (Metro Stop, in Washington DC).  It was about 700pm, and I was finishing up a delicious Spider Roll and some green tea. I pulled out the Itouch in my fleece front pocket, tapped shuffle and grabbed a couple of bucks to buy a day pass on the metro to grab the blue train downtown. 6 mins later, I am enjoying one of my favorite parts of public transportation. (People watching). Listen to Derek Webb, I zone out and watch the stops go by, as I await for my stop, Smithsonian.
I purposefully stand at the announcement and walk to the door, ...within in another 2-3 minutes I am standing directly dead center of the Mall in DC. (not a shopping mall, but the center 'lawn area' between the Capitol/Washington Monument/Lincoln Memorial.

The sky was a nice cloudy day with a red reflection from the setting sun, which truly made the moment surreal as the lit white marble stood in contrast to the backdrop. Nice.

Yet somewhere in my soul I just thought, something is missing. My belly was fully of sushi, my ears were engaging some great lyrics, my eyes were soaking glorious sights. What was missing? She was not there.

Scriptures teach in Genesis 2:18, a truth that men have a innate created deficiency before the fall. "It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.". God creates out of man, the woman to be his much needed compliment.

Sadly our culture rejects this notion adamantly. Portrayed like facades on decaying building, is the notion that men/women can live perfectly self-sufficient (and enjoy it). Yet socially it seems hypocritical that we criticize the 35+ single man or woman who has lived out this image in reality. The lie is that humanity that submits to the notion of marriage has somehow emasculated themselves, no matter the sex. They can no longer roam free. (Yet don't roam free too long, because you must somehow balance your 'freedom' with not becoming a abnormality of becoming the 'ole maid'.)

In about 15 days, I will be married 5 years. (Missing my anniversary 3 times, due to Army commitments). I think the only thing I can say negative about marriage is that, I wish I would have married Jessica earlier. Our churches need to desperately reforge a new standard in our youth\college that would encourage younger marriages, and showing how the male/female connection should be encouraged thus reflecting a better understanding of this passage.

Here's my suggestions on how:
1. Reduce the cultural norm of college degrees, by not emphasizing them as something that needs to be accomplished prior marriage.
2. Reduce the stigma of young couples considering marriage as taboo but applauding them in the church as they value 'marriage' over prolonged 'singleness', as a biblical mandate.  
3. Encouraging males/females to develop both domestic and skills that could support a family unit early in child development, not waiting till they are out of High School or College.
4. Young Couples considering marriage should be encouraged to be mentored by more mature/elder married couples as they work through their engagement/first-year of marriage, thus reducing 'isolation stress', if in-laws are not supporting the marriage.
5. Lower the accepted sociological economic status for young couples, by a church wide campaign to try 'ONE-CAR' family or/and presenting a consistent message in regards to child day-care, which is a whole new blog.
6. Refocusing the Great Commission efforts to see internal biological growth as a means whereby we reach the next generation, by equipping our own. (not limiting our reaching to only internal, but just refocusing it to see it as a legitimate area that should see emphasis).

Bottomline: I know that the above is not necessarily a comprehensive list of things that would help, but I think as Christians we need to make the efforts now to start reforging a distinction from the cultural norms that have led the church majority the last 50 years. I write the list of recommendations because, ANYONE can point out a problem and (poop on the table), but I want to address some possible solutions to our problem. So, before you criticize/analyze these points, constructively consider your approach to make additions to solving our issue, not pointing out my personal lack of insight or ignorance. :) Let's reform our 'Christian' understanding of normal.


  1. Awww...Im always amazed when you write! Love you baby

  2. Yeah he is sooooo awesome. Hey you and Jessica check out my new life verse. Judges 16:16
    My translation is much better
    And it came out about that she oppressed him in her ways and all the day she urged and annoyed his spirit, to death.

  3. John,

    I am very proud to have a great son-in-law (son) as you; someone that loves my daughter as much as I do. But also someone that respects their spouse as much as I see you and Jessica do. Don't loose this respect and admiration and the marriage will continue to blossom. I made a commitment to Linda over 34 years ago and would not change a thing. I was blessed with two great girls that have become two great ladies; so life is great.


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