Just started a new series for married couples. I pray this will help you smile a little, maybe even laugh, and ultimately build a stronger relationship with you and your spouse.
We all know that clear communication is key to any good relationship. Notice that I did not say 'communication', I said 'clear communication.' Let me explain. I have a white lab that I simply love. He has a mind of his own and does just about anything. I can give communication to him...he may or may not listen. He may even turn and look at me and stare. He may even wag his tail. BUT, he may also turn and go right back to doing what I ask him not too (i.e. clean the dishes in the dishwasher). Then, I get frustrated and begin yelling and waving my hands...possibly pull off the Croc and do a little corrective training. ;)
Of course the analogy instantly breaks down, your spouse is not a dog. But we all know there are some clear parallels.
1. We talk and give thoughts. THEY may look at us.
2. We offer our hearts. THEY may look interested and laugh (wag their tails).
3. We think they heard us. THEY turn and go back to doing what they wanted.
4. We respond with shoe throwing. ;)
This is not communication.
Couples that wish to experience a more peaceful home should consider the faults in the above situation. So what is wrong with the above situation? Well, as the adage goes: It takes two to tango.
Things to help:
1. Talk with your spouse and allow them to give input into your thoughts. Example ("I have been frustrated with x for some time,...if you were in my shoes what would you do?" or "I am really excited this new class,...is there any classes you would like to take?") You must not make every conversation about you.
2. Learn a little more about their interest and be teachable with them. Be a pupil, let them teach you. Example ( "I don't completely understand why you use Greek yogurt instead of Sour Cream,...tell me why?" or "What is it about Star Wars that makes you want to watch so many times? Is it childhood good memories or the plot?")
3. DEBRIEF DAILY. Never let days by in your relationship that you have not sat down and shared about your day. Let your spouse tell you all about. Turn off the TV. Give the child an activity, and give attention to your spouse. It may not be much, but 5 -15 minutes a day can keep your marriage fresh and up to date. This will keep you from being blindsided issues.
4. Finally, compliment your spouse. Give a clear communication of personal pleasure in your spouse. Tell them something that encourages or gives them hope. (Example: "Dinner,...that's a keeper for special guest."; "I am so glad you provide for our family."; "Would you like me to get you a glass of tea?"
Bottomline: Marriage is not difficult. You don't have to be a guru to survive. You do need to be patient, be selfless. Do more than just wag your tail,...listen and speak. ;)