1.11.2010

Day 57, Crazy Feelings of Anxiety

Laboring away at the ole commentary on Nehemiah, I have been humbled many times as I am struggling over and over again with my personal understanding or definition of what true leadership is.

Despite my current efforts to write scholarly after 2100 (9:00 P.M.), I decided to fall back on faithful blogging.

Therefore, I will just tell you the truth right now. Jessica is going into the hospital tomorrow here in Germany, and I am a little anxious about it. I am not scared for myself or the procedure, I am just concerned for my wife. I have not had kids yet, but I am sure that first day of school for your 'first born' is quite rattling. And in a very bizarre way, I want to somehow save Jessica all the pain and uncomfortableness of this entire episode. For some odd reason, I would rather MUCH rather me deal with this than her. That's what is bothering me.

On the other side of my heart, is a strong desire this week to look very intently again at my calling. In about 6 days, Jessica and I will have our Anniversary in the Army Chaplaincy Active Duty...2 YEARS. I think its appropriate to struggle through the affections of my heart to see if this is what God has truly called me to do. It is not doubt, but introspection.

Please pray for us this week as Jessica will be going into the hospital tomorrow, and I will be roaming Germany in search of food and shelter.

Bottomline: Its not good for man to be alone. (The first malediction in the Bible.)

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