At 1030 this morning I went to my 6 month cleaning at the local DENTAC. I must admit, that I would rather go through my HOT WING episode than go through this event. Nonetheless, I travel to the place, park, wait in line,...read a German Auto magazine...(not a Army literature magazine...ridiculous)...then await for my name to be called.
"CPT Craven"...I stood up, smiled walked behind the lady...who never gave me her name. She merely walked briskly to a room, flung the door, asked if I had a cell phone, and if so to please turn it off, (very difficult to do as a Chaplain) I complied. Then she brings me over to a counter...and thus the TORTURING BEGINS.
1. Green mouth wash?
2. Sunglasses to keep my blood from spraying in my own eyes.
3. Being asked, "do you floss?" ; Seriously, your the Dentist. Its kind'a like asking a couple that comes in my office, "So, do you have martial issues?"...HELLO, your the expert.
4. The sharp pointy objects ripping the gums.
5. The calm, pause as they leave for a second...but only to return to more torturing, when you thought 'Surely, that was it.' NO, still going
6. Then the PINK rinse. GAG!
7. The polite, "I just rammed my fist down your mouth for half hour, and let you suck on stick that pulls your inner organs out..." HERE's your 3.50 ORAL B Toothbrush gift. If you didn't like my flossing, give me floss.
That's my day. Currently eating some popcorn kernels...and in about 15 minutes I will crawl in the bed without brushing my teeth. Take that mystery woman!
Bottomline: I don't like Dentistry. Does anyone? I guess it makes good material for Bill Cosby, Himself. That's about it.