11.14.2009

Day 37 and 38, Recovery and Tough Decisions.

In less than 24 hours, I have had to move from an emotional high and 'sigh' of relief to conversation that brought me to tears.

As you may or may not know, the prayer breakfast of which I have been preparing for and being sure not to miss the point is finally over. The Chaplain (COL) Jim White, who came to speak, did a fabulous job. I just feel that God uses him, and it was a joy to have him speak to the unit. Although it was a pleasure to have him, my nerves are glad that this is not a daily occurrence. At 1700, yesterday evening, I finally took a long shower, and just enjoyed a great little dinner and The Office with Jessica. A good night of relaxing.

As the roller-coaster of emotions settled down through the night, I woke up this morning knowing that Jessica and I had to make some decisions regarding our plans for the upcoming holidays. When you live 4000 miles away, in another country, you must get on the ball to make reservations and plane tickets, to ensure a good travels. Although, the financial burden is not really the issue, Jessica and I had to come to the conclusion today, that this Christmas we will have to stay in Germany. A very tough decision. She left at about 1520 to go grab the weeks groceries, and I got the phone and decided to call home and pass on the news. Seconds, after I told my mother, I could hear the hurt and my heart sank. My throat tightened. (even now it still does). Tough Decision, for the greater good. Yet even minutes after we got off the phone, I rushed to the computer to look for more flights or schedules that possibly would give us a good deal or save us more time in the end. A constant argument between, what I want and what I know is a rational decision.

Bottomline: Some days we move from such a variety of emotions that it is just basically impossible to make a clear decision. Thankfully, through prayer and logic, God has given us wisdom to discern. Things that are not blatantly taught in Scripture as sin or breaking the covenants of God, are still opportunities to ask God to give you wisdom from the Holy Spirit. Nowhere in Scripture are you going to find, "GO BUY THE NEW CAR" or "SAVE YOUR MONEY, GET THE USED ONE." You do have a mind and wisdom of rationality...make a thoughtful decision, and know that God will not be surprised at all. Your choice, does not disrupt his Sovereignty.

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