Day 13, Adoption II: Are You Still Going to Have Your Own Kids?

Due to the fury of responses to the Adoption posting earlier, I decided to continue more on the topic.

Russell Moore, wrote in a very thoughtful book about adoption in chapter two, that the most common frustration to parents adopting is 'stupid questions'. I agree. Of course you have your typical financial, family, paperwork, etc....but a common frustration is the questions that a couple might receive when going through the process.

1. Are you still going to have your own kids?

A: In no way less are the kids that I am adopting 'less' than kids that just so happen to have my own DNA running through their bodies. Think about the implications of this through Scripture. Jesus refers to us many times as 'brothers', 'heirs', 'sons'...now the rights that you have as a blood-atoned sinner, are no less than that of the REAL Son before the Father. To be called a 'half' or 'adopted' in a negative sense, seems to make less of the work of Christ, that brought us into the family, 'unblemished' having full rights.

2. 9 months of knowing the date, and 6-16 months of guessing.

A: Many parents that adopt have no idea of the exact timing or window of the adoption. This definitely applies to those adopting internationally. I am not sure what a good question would be, but maybe just patience, and understanding that about every month a huge 20-30 page document must be filled out (a repeat of the previous document) and submitted. This can be a painful process as they 'labor' through several months. Continual prayer and fostering the family a long with encourage, a prayer for the adopting family during service is a suggestion.

3. How can you guarantee they are going to be healthy?

A: This one is painful, because it implies that our desire for children can only be validated if it is healthy. The child becomes a 'showroom' commodity instead of a life. You would never dare ask that question to a pregnant woman, or a lady who just had a miscarriage. The adoption agency typically gives good judgment in this area, but as we all may know, children are governed by the sovereignty of God. If God chooses to take an adopted child or biological child home to Him, should we question Him? Health is an issue, but consider the same notion when going a mission trip, "Am I going to be safe?"; What a safer/healthier place to be than in the will of God?

Do you know of any stupid questions that have been asked regarding Adoption? Maybe they aren't stupid, but just not thought out. I would love to hear some of them, as we address a topic that is truly at the heartbeat of many.


  1. Just wanted to let you know that I gave you a shout out on my blog today. The things God is saying on your blog are awesome! So, just wanted to warn you about that.

  2. How about these if you are adopting overseas or another nationality: "Aren't you worried about what people will think when you see them in Wal-Mart?" or "How will you handle when they look at you and know you look different than them?" or "Do you REALLY think you can love them like your own or do you think it will be different?"