Today and tomorrow, I will be sitting in front of my ESV Bible and 5 sheets of paper that I have scribbled ideas, breakthroughs, and questions on all week regarding 5 verses in the book of Job. Just finishing up a sermon manuscript that currently, I feel is finally coming together.
What's the sermon about? Well, Its primarily about questioning God, and how should we respond when we are overwhelmed in suffering, loss, and pain. I think it 100% applicable to anyone who has lived longer than 5 years on this planet. I dare say that I can be brought to similar standards as Job in his loss, but I know that I have experienced death and depression, just like you.
The heart of it is really simple. I can vividly remember right after my dad passing away, a strong bitterness that never seemed to settle. I was broke financially, living in Athens, GA. I was attending a beautiful church with a lot of other college students, who I thought had it all together. One particular night, I was struggling with the whole situation, and in route to Prince Avenue Baptist Church, stopped at a stoplight directly in front of the Varsity and Milledge Avenue, I just cursed God. My heart hurt so bad. Tears streaming down, wiping them as I drove. I wanted escape. By Grace alone, truly, I drove the remaining 1.5 miles to the parking lot at PABC, and sat in the car...Bible in hand and questioning why?
I never got a voice from Heaven, or a starry vision through the cosmos. I did have a flood of verses dance through my mind. The story of Job, the suffering of Joseph, the humiliation of Daniel, and on and on and on. Sober reminders that God knows what he is doing. I said a quiet simple prayer, and asked God to just comfort me.
12 years later, I can truly say, I have a deeper understanding of God's Sovereignty. Why did God take my roommate? My dad? leave me broke? single?...I don't know. But, what I do know is that He restored me. He restored fortunes of my life, that I thought were stolen. And, I will gladly tell anyone that suffers and is in pain currently,...'there is hope, my friend, for those who are in Christ.'
You may not know the 'WHY?' of the situation, Job never found out according to the book, but we can trust that God remains faithful to His children. Stand firm, cry, punch the pillow,...but trust God's not only with you, but restoring the season of famine.